Has it been too long that I’ve seemed to have forgotten?
Is this why I’m falling so fast, without any caution?
What happened to all my watch dogs and guarded walls?
You’ve broken through all that with ease, carelessly walking into my life, into my every thought.
I’m captivated by your presence. Somehow you move me, giving me the urge to dig deep into your mind and soul. Just to see who you really are underneath that shy smile.
It’s the weekend, the sun is out. Let’s have a wonderful day and a even better night!!
“What would you like to drink?” “Anything that will take the pain away.”
“In an ideal world no one would talk before 10am. People would just hug, because waking up is really hard.” – Zooey Deschanel
“I don’t want to complete you – I want you to come complete” – Sarah Silverman
This is to the boys
To the boy that broke my heart over a mean letter.
To the boy that said he will only date me if I lose weight.
To the boy that stopped talking to me after I told him I liked him.
To the boy that told me he only wants sex.
To the boy that asked if I can be his fuck buddy.
To the boy that talked down on my nationality after I gave him head.
To the boy that called me up at 2am to just “hangout.”
To the boy that slept with my cousin behind my back.
To the boy that told me I was doing it all wrong while his penis was in my mouth.
This is to all those boys. You will always be just a boy, a low life dog. For every time I felt pain and cried myself to sleep. For every time your actions and words cut away at my heart. You boys might have damaged me, walked all over me as if I was worth nothing.
But you boys didn’t take away everything. I’m still here, still a virgin, still pure. You weren’t worth my love. I’m stronger that you’ll ever be. Stupid, stupid boys that will always be boys. Never going to be worthy of a MAN.
I haven’t written a message in some time, so this morning I feel like writing one. It’s been a really long time since I’ve liked a guy. I guess you can say I’m jaded and that I’ve given up on love because love has given up on me. It’s close to 3 years since I’ve put myself/ my heart out there. The last guy I fell for ripped my heart out. All he ever did was take and take, always wanting, needing more. My sister told me yesterday that finding a guy isn’t hard but perhaps I’m the one that’s too picky.
I do not agree with this at all. I’m not picky; I just keep picking the wrong ones. And truthfully no one has been able to keep me interested long enough to even try again. I don’t have the energy nor the urge to try again. I am alone, lonely yet I know no one could hurt me this way.
But suddenly someone has captured my attention and I’m so interested in him, in his life… everything about him. It’s a horrible, scary, nervous, new, yet exciting feeling. I feel like I’m 17 years old all over again. Only this time I’m not has naive and I’m more scare because now I’m fully aware of the pain that will come afterwards. I’m not use to my emotions being like a yo-yo with someone else being in control. It’s being tugged and pulled by everything he does. It’s tiring, it’s nerve racking and yet I can’t get enough. All I know is that, I want to see where this goes. I want to enjoy this simple, little, happiness for a while. I don’t want to be alone anymore.